Often people look for signs after a loved one passes. We weren’t looking, not yet at least.
The loss of a child is a loss like no other. In fact, there is no language to identify parents who have lost a child. The anguish that accompanies this type of loss is indescribable. If there was a word, perhaps it would help with the healing. We find ourselves looking in the eyes of others, searching in crowds, listening to voices just to grab a slice of anything that may remind us of our precious loved ones. We look for any sign that they are still with us. We crave what was once so much a part of ourselves.
Grief, endless and eternal. How will we live without our child? We long to know where they are. No matter your spiritual beliefs, it is a question as old as time. What happens when we die? To lose a child, the unknowing is simply intense.
Perhaps they are still with us, around us, in us and among us.
The night after Tim passed, a thunderstorm rolled in. We were sitting with longtime friends and heard a thud against the window. A lime green Luna moth had been lured by the brightness of the patio lights.
The Luna moth, like other moths and butterflies, begins its life as a caterpillar before emerging from its cocoon completely renewed. For us, it represented a rebirth of the soul, an undeniable sign from Tim that he had completed his peaceful transformation.
Like the remarkable Luna, which lives a short life, Tim packed countless lessons into his years. He taught us about compassion and acceptance. Through him, we will find a way to help others. Regardless of our path, we are destined to leave our mark. And like the majestic Luna moth, he showed us how to find the light in the darkness.
While deciding on the best way to share Tim’s life with others, many ideas and symbols surfaced. The one that kept coming back to me was this moth. We asked a close friend for his thoughts on its meaning, and his reply was simple. He sent a photo of yet another Luna moth, one that had found its way to his porch, with the caption, “Is this a sign?”